Letters To My Son in roughly 7 weeks and 6 days will become Letters To My Son’s. Well, that’s the countdown for the estimated due date. We all know that children have a tendency of doing as they please, especially when it concern’s due dates.
So it’s with great joy and trepidation I bring the next installment of Letters To My Son. A post all about my eldest becoming a big brother. Trepidation? You ask. Why yes, because one kid is hard enough to wrangle, and I’m barely managing that. And of course since we are somewhat gluttons for punishment we are already bringing the next kid into the mix. Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited, but definitely nervous about how this is going to go. So, let’s get into it.
Very shortly here you will be subjected to a screaming, crying baby. And so I thought it necessary to write this for you to read someday in the future.
First I want to say daddy and I are sorry. But we also aren’t. We’re sorry for all the times you will be asked to be quieter because the baby is sleeping, we’re sorry for your loss of status of being the baby. That’s something you’ll never get back. I’m sorry for any of the times you need and want mama but won’t get my undivided attention because your brother needs it more.
That’ll be something that will never change. As you grow a sibling is inevitably going to take our attention when you might want or need it. Know that your dad and I will always try to be fair, but at times we may fall short in your eyes. I don’t expect you to understand it. I just hope you can forgive us for any and all perceived shortcomings. Despite our best efforts we will fail you and your brother at times. This is just a fact of life. Becoming an older sibling means being held to a higher standard. This isn’t fair. We all know it. But it’s what it is, and it’s that way because it has to be. Your brother will be watching you, looking to you for guidance. He will mimic your actions. And so your dad and I will be relying on you to help lead your brother down the right paths. Please understand and don’t mix this up though. We don’t and won’t account his failures as your own and vice versa. You will mean more to each other then either of you will ever be able to see at first, maybe if ever. It is my hopes that when your dad and I are no longer here, you have each other. The best allies in the world, someone to always guard your back. Someone to watch your progression through life in a way that no one else will ever be able to do. When we are gone; for you to not be alone, and never be on your own is one of the most important things. Because the world is a hard and cold place, especially when you have no one in your ball court. You could be a superstar and it’ll mean nothing without people around you to share it with.
There will be times when this little thing will be screaming and you won’t understand why. I’m sure it’ll be annoying and frustrating to you. And I’m sorry for that.
All of the sudden you will have to share your attention, your love, your toys, your comfort items. And you’ll just be expected to do it, with no explanations. We will just expect you, in some ways to have just grown up over night.
It’ll be expected that over night you will need mama less. Because you’ll be over a year when your brother comes. So, why would you need us as much?
I understand on so many levels how unfair this will be for you. To share your space and attention with something and someone you wont understand until you are actually older and more capable of not needing mama.
But in this little baby that you wont quite understand we are hoping you will find a close friend and a forever companion. So no, it wont always be fair for you, but we hope it’ll be somewhat worth it, in moments of your life, maybe even solid chunks of moments towards the grown up parts of your life.
The times that I’m too tried after tending to your brother, to give you what you really need, I hope you forgive me for.
The times my frustrations aren’t checked and you realize them, I hope you forgive me for it.
When your brother hurts your feelings and you wish we had never had another kid, I hope you see the bigger picture for it.
Being the eldest sibling puts you on this level that you will never be able to get down from. And you had no choice in the matter. As an older sibling, I understand how this feels, and I hope you will forgive me for it.
You will be asked to be the bigger person on numerous occasions, on occasions when you shouldn’t have to be the bigger person. The times when you should be able to express how truly hurt and pissed off you are will be overshadowed by the necessity of you being a good example.
We love you both very much, we have so much love in our hearts to give, and that’s why you will have another sibling. Because we want our house filled with laughter and love.