The world I leave you.

Smush and Thumper,
The world I’m leaving for you both is not the world I had ever imagined, hoped or dreamed that it would be. I had wished for so much more for the both of you.
I’d like to say that I have done all that I can to give you this perfect world I had dreamed up for you. But, I don’t know that I have.
This place that I’m someday leaving for you is so broken. Sometimes it feel’s like the hurt runs deep into the earth’s core. Like if you stick your hand into the earth’s soil you’ll be able to pull out all of the hurt. Strands and strands of little intricate veins of previous generation’s hurt and wrong trickling and fracturing through. Stringy and gooey and wrong.
When I got pregnant with you smush it really hit me, what I have and haven’t done in this world and what that now mean’s for you. I wish that I had lived up to the expectations of my childhood self, the little girl who didn’t think but knew she could save the world. A little girl who believed in love, fairy tales and genuine human kindness.
More often then not I look back on that girl, and wonder where it was I left her. I search in the crevices of my mind, closing and opening doors calling for her.
Calling for a peace of her hope, just a tiny wedge like the sweetest chocolate to tuck away and enjoy slowly another time.
I see pieces of that in your eyes, smush. I hear pieces of that in your laughter Thumper.
And so, I have to tell you about this world someday. But most importantly I have to figure out how to help you fix what we couldn’t fix, and those before us, and those before that. I have to figure out how to teach you to be good men with good soul’s that the world cannot and will not corrupt or beat down. I have to figure out how to make good human beings who will make good human beings, who will also make good human beings and chalk that up as my contribution. Because all I can tell myself is that by making one more good human being I’ve helped changed the world, even if it’s just a little.
I want to show you that you can conquer the world, your world, your dreams, your passions. That you can overcome your sorrows and bring back the light, turn back on the sun and ward off the fog that can sometimes over take a person’s mind.
It’s terrifying. Because more often then not I am sure I will let you down. More often then not I know you will look back on a memory and think of how I could have handled it better, or been better so that YOU could have become a better person.
And I wonder, how many of those moment’s have come to make up this world.
I want you to reach out and help always, and love wherever you can. I want you to keep your soul’s clean, and your bodies as well. Drugs and the like are just band aids.
They were not made to solve the problems in your life, and trust me when I say that many men have fallen before you to the likes of this.
This concept that you can find a band aid, to solve your hurt or feelings or problems of any kind, is a trap of the oldest kind. A trap that spirals and never let’s you back out of. There is no emergency ladder or escape route once you start heading down.
This is your warning, I hope you hear it.
I want you to be kind, always. This is hard. Even one someone doesn’t deserve it. Even when you feel like ‘why do I have to be?’
The world will always need a little kindness. But on the same note, be wary, and protective of yourself. Because this world is not a good world, and bad things are always happening.
Laugh and live in the moment but not too much that you are reckless, trust me, there is a huge difference. But it is also a difficult balancing act. Lose your balance and you will go plummeting downwards towards something that will break you, something you may not be able to get back up from.
And my loves, there is no safety net, no training wheels, no one to hold your hand.
Work hard, study hard and play hard.
Understand that you weren’t put on this earth to simply do one . You are here to sing, dance, smell the ocean. You are here to kiss and love, and burn with dreams and passion. You are here to work hard and learn. To fall and climb and get back up.
Learn balance, its essential to being a good person and helping others to be a good person. If you cannot take care of yourself you cant help anyone else.
One of the most important things I can teach you is that you can work as hard as you possibly can, you can put everything you have into it. And you can still LOSE.
The world does not owe you anything.
There is no shame in how you feel. There is a double standard for boy’s to be tough, to choke down your emotions. And I hope I can teach you, instead, how to work through emotions that otherwise may seem crippling. Emotions that when society is telling you to tough it out it would leave you feeling lost and floating away. Or frustrated and overwhelmed. Instead I hope to show you how to work through them and learn through them. How to turn them into something constructive and not destructive.
You don’t always need to be tough, nobody is always tough. It’s an impossible schema.
I hope that I can show you these things, and the world you wake up and leave to your children is not the world that I have woken up and left to you.
I hope you break walls, and ceilings of societal standards that are outdated and harmful. I hope you pave the way for others to follow. Always looking to see what you can do for them and not what you can TAKE.
I hope that if you ever sit down to write a letter about the world to your children it’ll be so different then this.
Love, mama


Here come’s spring

Ive been so motivated to try and get my life together with spring getting here. I’m never sure how long this will last and so I wanted to fully optimize on this motivation and drive. So I got my butt in gear and finally got the playroom put together. I’ve had this on my ‘to do list’ for over a year now, but with going through a 2nd pregnancy and dealing with a toddler it just didn’t seem plausible.
This was something I really wanted done for the boys though, because I think it’s crucial that we all have our own spaces. Like, there comes a certain time when the kids toys no longer need to take over my living room.
I should have just started selling admittance ticket’s to my living room like it was a circus, cause it was pretty damn close. And let’s face it, I was kind of tired of feeling embarrassed when people stopped by and saw the disaster zone that we call a home, like ‘hey…sorry my house is such a complete and utter disaster, I’m exhausted and the children are winning the war.’ (let’s face it, they are always winning).

I decided Monday morning when the baby woke me up at 5am…again, that I no longer wanted to be the ringmaster of the Doodle-chunk show and started the process of creating a playroom for them. I already had some idea of what I wanted it to look like, and when doodle was a year old I had already picked up some orange paint for the room (Which wasn’t enough and I ended up having to go get more.)
I spent two days of hard work in this room, and I’m actually pretty proud of how it turned out. So first let’s show the extremely embarrassing before picture and I’m gonna hide or run away to another dimension while ya’ll judge me, cause it’s ridiculously messy.20180409_094439

OOOOOKAY, let’s just scroll on down and pretend that never happened.

I feel like the door should have had a sign on it that said ‘Welcome to the room of junk’
Not saying I think my belongings are junk, but I mean…they kind of are. How do we accumulate so much crap?

So, I made myself a strong drink of lemon water and got started. I spent all day in that room, clearing it out, taping down the walls. Giving myself a pep talk that painting one of my walls BRIGHT orange wasn’t the world’s worst idea. I mean…how hard could BRIGHT orange be to cover up. Notice how I have to keep emphasizing BRIGHT. I Feel like it better showcases my fear of this orange paint.

So I jumped in, like I always do. Without testing the water, without a life jacket or a safety boat nearby. I just did it.
And I FING love that BRIGHT orange wall. It made it into a playroom, it took it to that next level. And I’m just like ‘dang I’m a straight BA, let me go get a motorcycle and leather jacket.’
It’s amazing what painting a wall orange can do for you, I totally recommend it. (OR…don’t, cause I SO don’t


want angry email’s if it doesn’t turn out. Some walls don’t need to be painted orange…just sayin’)
So, after spending majority of the day feeling like Cinderella..just kidding, I feel like that everyday….I ran out of orange paint. I was derailed. But I knew that if I just closed the door and said ‘I’ll finish it another day’ it’d never get finished. SO, naturally I took a nap since both the boys were miraculously napping at the same time. (Did anyone catch a unicorn Monday? I hear those are nonexistent too) Then when we were done napping the firstborn and I headed out to restock our paint.
And, FOUR coat’s later (which…Seriously BRIGHT orange? Why you do that to me?) it was painted.

(If you follow my Instagram at: Paperdaffodils, you may have already seen some of these pictures as I posted a few up to showcase my progress)
I mean…BAM! Doesn’t that just smack you in the face with wonderfulness?

And after that, It all just started to come together. Piece by piece, this room that I had been dreaming of and pushing from one month’s to do list to the next was finished. Take a gander:20180410_091030

The paper lantern’s were from doodles first birthday, except I never got around to using them, and they work perfect in the playroom. He keeps seeing them and pointing to them excitedly.

  • 20180410_133842.
    We do still have to mount the T.V. and put together another cube shelf..thing….BUT…his toy box is out of my living room, I’ll take that as being one battle won. And, if you want to make yourself one of those nifty photo containers for a plant too, wander your happy self over to my blog post: If I were an empty container then I would be20180412_14164520180412_14180520180413_182158
    This kid has so many stuffed animals already. So I ordered him this bean bag, that you literally zip open and stuff with stuffed animals. This thing is waaay bigger then I thought it’d be though, so It’s going to mostly be for decoration until I can trust the kid with it.20180413_182211

    And, VOILA! I still have a few things to do…aka…my husband has a few things to do. He needs to get the bookshelf thing put together, a TV mounted and a ceiling fan with a light put in. But..just imagine it as if that’s already done. Cause this mama’s tired and done all that she can for this room. So….the kid absolutely adores it and plays in there all the time,
    ignores that the room even exists. I’m not even sure where to rank this, as a win or a lose. I guess someday he’ll be excited to have it and will use it. Until then, I’m digging that BRIGHT orange wall.

    So, I was inspired and tackled another project I’ve been wanting to get done. Yo girl was busy this past week guys.
    So here’s the before picture. And again, I’m going to return to the previous mentioned dimension and hide:20180410_082326

    I cleaned out and organized my fridge…and this is with one shelf already cleared out and wiped down so it’s not even as bad as it did look. Don’t mind my child trying to reach for his 4th yogurt of the day. I make him scrambled eggs and a pancake and he tried to feed it to the cat and heads over for a yogurt. Again, I think I’m losing here guys.

    This was an idea I think I found on pinterest, if not there it was youtube. It was so long ago that I don’t even remember. And everything was from the dollar store.


    Isn’t it so pretty? I know I’m old, because this legit was fun and exciting to me. So, I got the liner paper from the dollar store, and the glass jars I had on hand. I condensed things down and switched things to glass jars, because why not? And used colored scotch tape to label things. The containers are from the dollar store. One is for doodles yogurts and apples (comfortably out of his reach I might add) and the other is for partially used cut veggies, and hard boiled eggs. Because I have a tendency of placing those in the fridge door and forgetting about them.
    I am so not showing the fridge door because:

  • I have a condiment problem. Legit…I need help. And I can’t ever seem to bring myself to throw them away.
  • It’s a hot mess because I ran out of steam. The baby was losing his ish and Doodle was throwing the world’s largest tantrum because he wanted another yogurt (It’s all this kid want’s to eat). SO this mama called it a day.
    And…that’s it. that was my spring cleaning…impressive eh?
    Ok…well i’m impressed with myself. Till next time guys.

    Paper lanterns and BRIGHT orange,

Worship your mother day

Mother’s Day is around the corner. The day when all children and spouses fall to their knees in worship and admiration towards their mother who lives, works, and breathes tirelessly for them. They fan and peel the skin off grapes, while collecting the coldest water from the chips of icebergs. If this made you laugh, you’re probably a mom. I’m not sure how other people’s Mother’s Day go, but mine is more about what I can do for the kids then anything else. I’m not complaining, those 2 kids are the reason I am a mom and get to personally celebrate Mother’s Day…but let’s face it, I’m complaining a little. Cause all I really want is to sleep for Mother’s Day.
I used to romanticize about Mother’s Day and my someday children. All the picnics, and fun little activities we’d do. The little hand-print cards my kids would make for me and the beautiful laughter in my house. Now, I’m like can ya’ll handle your own laundry, cook your own meals, clean up after yourselves and let me catch up on Grey’s Anatomy-thanks you’re the best.
But if you also are like me and every year put grand ideas on your Pinterest board about all the awesome things your going to do for your mom on Mother’s day then either fail to execute, and or run out of time cause let’s face it you’re a procrastinator, or you realize it’s not that great of an idea then you’ve found the right blog post. I’m here to give you guy’s some thoughtful, quick, and almost painless ideas for the mother in your life.

Let’s start, so you can get on your happy little way, serenading and worshiping the mother in your life.  Or at least trying too.

1.) Essential oils with a diffuser: I have to emphasis the with diffuser part. If you give someone all of the tool’s to use what you gave them they are more inclined to do so. And on that note, for serious, hook your mama up with these. They are a game changer. A mom has so much going on in their life, so much stress and responsibility. Get her started with some lavender, or geranium. Help her accomplish that sense of happy and calm in her inner core. Be the conquering hero…just like your mom already is..cause she carried you for 9 months then delivered you…then , as if all of that wasn’t enough she raised you and loved you. you’re welcome.

2.) Giving key:
First…here’s a good reason Screenshot_20180313-190712
you guys are so welcome, photo courtesy of my good friend niki.
So, let’s talk about this one..mmkay? I’ve posted post’s before, about becoming a new mom, about emotions pertaining to motherhood. But so many times as a mom you don’t feel like enough. You sit around and think about all the things you’ve done wrong and not about what you’ve done right. You see, when you have this little life your responsible for all you can think about is how every little thing you do is impacting them. And it always comes back to that you could do better. Be better. Could have been more patient, more fun, more loving, more nurturing. Could have used a different tone of voice, or spoken up more so they didn’t fall and bop their head. So many reasons and why’s to tell yourself you aren’t good enough. But you are. So for me this is an amazing mother’s day gift. You are enough.
I mean, this is honestly a great gift even for non moms. Do you know how many beautiful, strong women I know who have been made to feel like they aren’t enough?
It’s a good reminder to know that you are enough, and I can get behind giving key’s entire message.

3.) Bath and body works…anything. everything. the entire store please.
I mean, how many people are upset about pleasant smelly things? Candles, lotions, body washes. Yes please, get into my shopping cart. If you aren’t sure what they’d prefer you can always do a gift card. There’s enough options at this store that you wouldn’t be doing wrong, they could get all candles, or a mix whatever their heart delights. And let’s face it, someone who carried you for 9 months deserves the ability to achiever their heart’s delight.

4.) Starbucks or a tea basket:
How many mom’s wake up totally refreshed, ready to conquer the world….without the help of coffee or tea? Girl, if you do, I need your tricks. This girl needs coffee for sure. Especially when the baby wakes me up a gazillion times a night. Usually just to be held, and have his head rubbed. (can you guys just get me this treatment for mother’s day?)
So, coffee saves me. It makes me a somewhat functioning human being. And if it’s not coffee, maybe it’s tea. So a nice little basket with a cup, maybe doting and telling the mom how wonderful she is, is in order, and with that cup, don’t forget about the coffee and tea.

5. Relaxation basket:
Mom’s are running ragged. They go and give, and go some more. They are juggling your life, and their life and their husbands life. And rarely do they take a second. So any way you can get them to slow down and rest is a winning gift. Think candles, bubble bath a soothing and well scented lotion. Face masks, bath bombs, OR maybe yoga calms your mother’s soul, maybe horror movies, throw a DVD of some sort in. Or hit groupon for a coupon. Or, do all of it…cause your an A+ kid.

6.) Small herb garden: Basil, chives, mint, cilantro. Make it yourself, cause the law says mother’s love hand made items. You could use recycled can’s and decorate them individually. then plant the plant’s and voila! mothers day gift. Or, you can find a long planter and decorate it. Maybe she loves leaves, mod podge some fake leaves onto the planter, or glitterfy it if she’s that kinda mama. It’s a cute gift idea, for a mom who likes that sort of thing (gardening that is, don’t mind my bitterness and brown thumb over here.)

7.)  A candle lantern: You can find how to do this project here: Dollar store Candle lantern
This is seriously such a cute idea. It’s thoughtful, fairly quick and easy. I can get behind all of that. Especially the quick and easy part. Before I had kid’s I loved long intricate projects, now I’m all for the easiest and quickest way with the best pay out. Sorry, but my toddler is busy making memories being a jerk and rubbing peanut butter on the walls.

8.) A subscription themed box they’d love: Getting something fun-I mean other then bills and someone wanting something from you- every month is so enjoyable. It’s a little treat.  There are so many different kinds of boxes, so literally figure out what your mom likes (you should really know this…just sayin’) and get her something with that theme. She likes makeup, there’s a few you can do. She likes coffee, there’s two for that. She love’s her dog, there’s some for that.

9.) A clean house and letting them sleep in..
I feel like I just put ‘get them a magical unicorn on the list’
This gift idea can’t possibly exist. If anyone get’s this, let me know. I need to figure out how to make this happen.

10.) A coffee mug or cup decorated by their kids.
There’s a few ways to do this, buying a plain ceramic mug with specific markers and baking it in the oven. Really anyway that your kid chooses to decorate something for you, you will treasure it. Unless we are talking about redecorating your mom’s clothing with chocolate sauce, that might not go over so well.

I hope this helps. This was just to provide ideas and not necessarily to be a DIY. Although you may end up seeing some of these ideas in future posts AS DIY’s.
I wish you luck in your endeavor to spoil and worship your mother. I hope you are doing better then me, cause chances are Ive waited until last minute…again.

Coffee and more coffee,

When the cow’s come home

They say home is where the heart is. So naturally my hearts in California, because that’s where my boys are. But a huge part of my heart is still tucked away in Wisconsin.
All my fellow Wisconsin people are probably ready to pelt me with cheese curds. Hard, frozen cheese curds, cause the weather would allow nothing but the frozen. I’m sure they are thinking how spoiled I am and how I am taking this beautiful warm weather for granted (Um, can we just talk about how the weather was like 90…and it’s technically spring….just sayin’). Living in California has me feeling like a constantly melting Popsicle. A sticky gooey mess, that’s a metaphor for my life.

Then we have Wisconsin, who is in Spring and just recently got snow. Not cool mother nature, not cool.
But more then the weather it’s the spirit. Whenever  we go home for a visit as soon as I step of the plane I feel like I can exhale. Maybe it’s that my family is there so I know I can somewhat take a load off. I know they’ll help me improve where I’m falling short.
And guys, there will ALWAYS be something special about your mama’s home cookin’. (By the way mom, if your reading this, send me any of the following: Lasagna, enchiladas, fried chicken, Parmesan chicken…..the list is going to keep going in my head.)

If nothing else makes sense about this post or rings true, I hope we all can at least agree on how beautiful these photos are that were taken by my sister. Seriously, she doesn’t believe me, but she has some freaking talent with taking pictures on her phone. These pictures scream volumes on the spirit and soul of the place that keeps a piece of my heart.


It’s the familiarity, the ease of falling back into old habits and routines. It’s easy and normal. And sometimes when you’re a parent responsible for molding and shaping a tiny little life there’s something comforting about being with someone who has gone through it and has come out relatively unscathed.


Spring is spring (although I guess maybe not so much this year). You start planting your veggie gardens, flowers start blooming. The earth is clean, new and awakening. Spring always makes me feel like it’s time for a fresh clean start. And while there’s something majestic about winter, spring feels cleansing.
And it makes me think of Wisconsin. With beautiful lakes, and roads with cows and barn’s every where you look as the scenery. The birds whistling like they are your friend and telling you to slow down, enjoy some daffodils.
Tree’s with ton’s and ton’s of tulips and daffodils at their base. Telling you not to worry, it’s a new season, a new time, you can always change. Just like the world around you is.
It’s picnics, and day’s at the lake on the boat..or not. Fishing if that’s your thing.
BBQ’s and family junk that you take for granted when you’re a kid.

All I know, from my experiences is that your heart can definitely belong to two places.

Cheese curds and spring,

(All images in this post were created by Tiffany and are not to be copied or used for sell without the creators permission)


Turkey Meatballs

My husband always laughs at me when I finally find time to get in the kitchen. He always tells me he’s never seen anyone ‘wing it’ as hard as I do and come out with successful food. I can’t help it though, it’s just the way I cook. A pinch of this, a pour of that. I grew up watching my mom cook and that’s how I learned, so I don’t know the exact science behind it, although people swear there is one. I’m not going to be the next chef Ramsay, but I get by with fairly delicious food. So my husband spurred me into action when he pointed out that not everyone is able to do this and that I should start writing some of my kitchen adventures. So here we are,with one of my first recipes, other then the black beans for the crock pot which is an adaptation of many recipes.
So here’s my recipe:
1 1/2 pounds of ground Turkey
2 eggs (In the picture it shows 3 eggs, but I decided to only use 2)
2 Tbsp Parmesan cheese (fresh or not, I ain’t here to judge you, yo)
1 1/2 Tbsp of minced garlic (You can do less if you’d like, I’m just a big fan of garlic)
1 Tbsp onion powder
1/4 Tsp Paprika
20 Ritz crackers
1/2 Tbsp Worcestershire Sauce
2 Tbsp Italian Seasoning (You can use less of this, I know that this one isn’t everyone’s cup of tea)

First you are going to take the Ritz crackers, place them into a baggie and crush them into crumbs. Think bread crumbs, cause that’s the place these are going to take. I didn’t actually have bread crumbs and that’s how these ended up being used.
Add your meat, all of your spices, the 2 eggs, the cracker crumbs and roll up your sleeves (basically add all the ingredients to the bowl, I don’t think a particular order matters with this recipe)
And smush it all up with your hands..there’s no getting around this one. Using your hands mixes it all up the best, and puts love into your food. Love what your doing in the kitchen or order pizza…I’m just sayin’.
Once all the ingredients are mixed well start rolling them into meatballs, I did about a tablespoon in a half, but you can go bigger or smaller with yours, just note that you will have to cook them much more differently if you change the size of your meatballs.

Alright guys, I really tried to write everything down, but it’s really not my style and things are a little hazy. So for cooking these little balls I added 1/4 cup of water to a pan, just enough for the meatballs to sit a little in water, not enough that they were drowning and have to shoot flares up for the USS Gravy Boat. Also make sure you don’t put so many meatballs in there that they are overcrowded, they need their space. These meatballs are starting to sound like sensitive little guys.

Go ahead and cover your meatballs and cook for 6 minutes on medium high heat. If it seems like they are getting too brown you can lower the heat, if the water runs out too quick then go ahead and add a little bit more water. After the 6 minutes pull the lid off and cook for another 6 minutes (GUYS this is such a rough  plan, always cook your meat longer if you need to, do not eat under cooked meat. You can always cook these for longer if you need too, I cut one of mine in half to make sure it was good, you can do the same. And based on differences in stoves and etc you MIGHT need to cook yours longer)
During the 6 minutes uncovered, I tried to scoot them around the pan to get all the sides a good amount of brown. When they were done, I placed them on a plate and let them cool then placed them in a freezer baggie. Just pull out and microwave, or rewarm in a pan as needed.

And here’s the nutritional info based on MyFitnessPal (AGAIN, please note, I am not an EXPERT. I am not a dietician or a professional chef so there is a chance that I input something wrong, just expect there to be flaws.)


I estimated a serving of these to be ABOUT 4-5 meatballs. I hope you enjoy.

Spatulas and hot pans,

February and March BUJO updates

So, the month of February I apparently wasn’t very creative so I don’t have much to show for my bullet journal update, so that’s part of the reason why I combined the two months. Also, cause I’m extremely late/behind in getting the month of February up (I mean…its only the end of March). Also, I’m not sure why, but for the month of January I actually shared a lot of February and so didn’t have much to share for the actual month, but I digress.
Better late then never?
I love my bullet journal, one thing that I can say about it is it’s so customizable. The sky is the limit, if you have the time, desire and energy. And even if you don’t you can take a minimalist approach to it. Its up to you, and that’s the beauty of it. So you aren’t the most artistic person in the world, that’s ok. Please don’t let that stop you. The pictures of the stuff people do out there is so creative and amazing and honestly can be kind of intimidating, but the point of this isn’t to achieve perfection. Its to create a notebook you can go to and put your thoughts, plans, goals, memories and more in without feeling bad about yourself. It should be, at minimum the one place you can feel comfort and confidence in. I seriously encourage you to try it. You will be surprised how creative you really are and how freeing of a method it is.

So here we go:

(NOTE: The cut outs of the astrology signs are not mine. I obtained them through a google search a while ago and cannot remember from where, if you are the original creator of these little clips and would like me to place credit for you I am very happy to do so.)

Here is one of my weekly spreads from March. I love this one. I was in an astrology mood. And I just went with it. Glittery silver washi Tape to go with the dark blue, it’s one of my favorite spreads. Here’s some of my spread list’s/themes:
Greek Mythology: Andromeda, Athena, Aphrodite, Persephone
Constellations/Night sky
Places that made me/shaped me
Movies I like (with quotes on the weekly spread from the movie as well)
Horoscope signs for the weekly spreads of birthdays (for example my oldest is a Taurus so his birthday week is Taurus themed.)
Disney princesses
Ancient Egypt
Cherry blossoms

These are just a few.
Remember, I said the sky was the limits.


Ok…I know, this one doesn’t exactly look the prettiest but here’s what happened. I loved the idea of a gratitude log for the month. And so, I started off drawing an idea I had found on pinterest for one…guys…it looked horrible. Like…beyond horrible. So..I covered it up. So here’s another thing you can do to add character to your bujo. Find scrapbook paper that you like and incorporate it in, it could be a whole solid page like I did, or cutting out pieces of it. So, I glued in the scrapbook paper and drew hearts on it, because you know February, valentines day and I had to be extra. I put the days number next to them and filled them in with what I was feeling grateful about for that day. And with it filled in I really loved how it turned out. So mistake to not so pretty but okay page layout. Im marking that down as a success.

Every month I decided I would like a memories page, just a spot to write down moments I felt were special and that I wanted highlighted. For the month of February I only did good memories, but the next month I started doing anything I felt was a worthy memory to be included. I really didn’t do anything fancy, but I still loved the way it turned out, because my kids are growing up so fast and its so nice to think of one day looking back on these journals and being able to place tangible memories in a time frame.


Here’s a new layout I won’t be starting until April (so maybe I should have saved it for then). I got the inspiration from: the petite planner
She has some really cool ideas.
I changed mine from the original a little. I didn’t want the commitment of a year so I did 6 months. And instead of it being what kind of workout I changed it to how I felt I did in the workout. Im hoping this will inspire me to always give 100 percent to my workouts, but with 2 kids and heavily caffeinating myself, there’s no promises.

If I didn’t give you enough inspiration to get those creative juices flowing, head over to my pinterest board: Bujo goodness

Pens and Notebooks,

Shadow Boxes For The Win

As a mom, I’m always trying to find ways to commemorate the moment’s in my children’s life. The first time they walk, the first time they laugh, the first tooth they get. All of these moments are monumental and special for each kid. But, there are also many moments in between as well. I find myself trying to find the best way to compile these in between moments with the more in your face moments without creating something that is cluttered and chaotic.
In our day of Pinterest it’s easy to get caught up in the ideal of perfection. The perfect photos, the perfect crafts, the perfectly dressed children and the perfect Instagram photos. My biggest advice is to just craft, put your heart into it. Love what you are doing and don’t worry about the picture perfect pot of gold at the end of the rainbow ideal.
At the end of the day, you will want these memories, and so will your children.
There is nothing better then your kids seeing something you made, regardless of perfection, to commemorate them and your love for them. Growing up I remember looking at my baby book and photo albums and loving the special moments that were captured. And I don’t mean my first anything, I mean, my dad brushing my hair and my mom snapping a picture of it in the moment. My sister and I under the Christmas tree, hair a mess and in the midst of present chaos. The moments that no one thinks they are going to look back on and miss.
So, I went forth to create a Shadow box to commemorate the birth of my second son. And while I plan on making Smush a shadow box as well, chunk  monster just happened to come first. The idea really started back in august when visiting my parent’s in Wisconsin. I was pregnant still and had just started cross stitching full force and had asked  my husband to pick up something, anything for me to stitch. So he came back with a birth sampler. And the idea was born. The birth sampler he selected wasn’t necessarily one I would have picked on my own, but it was special because he had picked it. And I really didn’t want it collecting dust somewhere when I finished it, I wanted it to be displayed. So I found a shadow box and put it all together. I’m going to show you a few methods that you could use for creating a shadow box for your little one.


First your going to need a shadow box, and possibly pictures, some form of adhesive…I recommend a strong glue or pins depending on the level of permanence that you are looking to achieve. The clingy cat to oversee your project is totally optional.


Above are two shadow box options that would probably work great. My first tip is that if you are wanting to include baby’s first outfit or the likes to go for a bigger shadow box size then I did, which is why I included the shadow box that’s 12X15. I was disappointed because I couldn’t fit little chunks outfit in the shadow box with everything else I wanted.


One idea for you would be a minimalistic approach:


I made sure to get a picture of chunk in his first/take home outfit. and I really loved the way that this approach looked. It was so special and so simple. I just pinned the outfit down on the inside of the box, then pinned the photo up in the corner. Voila! Done!
(I apparently have issues with commitment with this project because I pinned everything instead of using a permanent adhesive)

Option 2: First week photos


Maybe you never put the baby in the take home outfit, or when you got to the hospital you didn’t love the take home outfit (this happened with smush, I also was ridiculous and thought I wasn’t allowed to change him out of the hospital onesie).
Or maybe you love the pictures from the first week so much that you want to showcase them. This would be perfect for that. Its amazing how easy this one is, and again how special it felt. Those first couple weeks with the new baby are so precious, and so amazing to look back on. Again, all I did was place the photos in and pin them down. Done.

Option 3: Photos with special quote/birth record


I REALLY loved this idea, and if I hadn’t already done a birth sampler I would have gone this route. The paper is placed in the middle to show you a general layout idea, but what would be in it’s place is a beautiful calligraphy piece, with a quote or the baby’s name with birth date and weight.
What sweeter way to celebrate your baby then by placing a meaningful quote in the middle. I think words are so powerful, and to pick something that you would hope your baby would live by, or be inspired by would be so sweet and touching.
The picture below is work by oliveandevergreenink

If this idea is what you love, I’d suggest checking out her work, she does some beautiful items.

(This image is acquired and used with the consent of the creator. This image should not be copied, shared or used without additional consent from the original creator.)

And finally you can go with the approach I went with



Like I said, I had this idea in mind for a while. So when I took my first few pictures I also installed the baby pics app so that i could create the picture in the bottom corner, with chunk in his special outfit and also with all his birth info. The middle is that birth sampler, and I selected 2 pictures from the first week with one additional photo. I picked that photo because I love his little smile. I also included the picture of him in the hospital swaddled in the blanket even though the lighting isn’t great because I had a blanket from the hospital (Sorry hospital) to cut and place some of the fabric in the background. I had wanted the outfit in there as well, but didn’t have the room, and now am glad I didn’t because I think it might have been over kill. And again, it was simple, I placed everything and pinned it.

I hope this was helpful in giving inspiration, maybe just that little kick you need to preserve some special memories. Even if it’s not for a baby. There are other special moments in life too.
I don’t know about you, but I want a house filled with decorations consisting of this stuff.
A house full of love.

Pins and Photos,

Conversations after dark Part one

Conversations after dark20171228_194542

Just a note, this content is in no shape or form pg, and isn’t suitable for children and those under 18. If you are family and don’t want to read some oversharing please click over to another blog post and enjoy that content 🙂
This post is brought to you by countless sleep deprived nights and perpetual exhaustion topped with a sarcasm cherry.

J: If you don’t want to be sleeping with the fishes tonight, I suggest you shake your blanket out.
A: What? *confused look*
J: Edwin was eating goldfish while sitting on your blanket, and by eat, I mean, he meticulously placed goldfish in your blanket *Picks up blanket and shakes it, goldfish crackers scatter everywhere*

A: Do you want to get Del Taco?
J: Sure
A: I mean, it’s that or the kid eats’ his fingernails.
J: Sooo….fiesta pack?
A: Absolutely

J: Do you want to have sex?
A: I have breast milk and baby spit up on me, and I’ve yet to brush my hair in 3 days.
J:…….so….is that  a no?

A: I feel like we are raising an evil genius
J: ….aren’t we still coming out ahead of the game if that’s the case?

J: The kids are winning tonight.

A: Sometimes I really get why some animals eat their young
J: Are you trying to say you want to eat babies?
A: I really didn’t see the conversation going that way.


(Doodlebug is running through the house shrieking at the top of his lungs)
J: Our child is a Viking
A: What?
J: Don’t you hear his warrior cry?

January BUJO highlights

*This post contains affiliate links*

Have you guys heard about Bullet Journaling? I feel like its a pretty big craze. But if you haven’t its a way of doing a journal and planner created by Ryder Carroll.
You can use various different books to start/set up your bullet journal. There is an actual brand of bullet journal’s and a lot of people also use these:

I tried to use these but I didn’t love it, it was too small for me, so I actually use composition notebooks.
I think the entire point and design of the bullet journal is to be open to whatever page layout or creative idea you want to do.
Ive failed at other planners because I hate the planned out spaces, they are either too big or too small for me, and I don’t like feeling limited.
But then I get caught up on other peoples gorgeous bullet journal layouts. Like the people who are actually artists unlike myself, who can draw and paint and etc.
So I wanted to share some of my favorite layouts that Ive created, not necessarily being the best artist to hopefully inspire you.


In my bullet journal I like to do a monthly spread before the weekly pages. I typically do a calendar so I can see the days for the month and a page for the goals I’d like to accomplish for that month. I think it helps me prioritize a little bit better, and it allows me to recognize what I didn’t have time to finish up the previous month and to maybe make that more of a priority this month.
I really liked how this one turned out and it was really simple, and honestly all of mine will be, because by the time I get the washi tape out and start doing stuff one of the kids needs me. I got the calendar from the dollar store (the dollar store is your best friend for inexpensive planner items) and just tore out the pages, cut them down and added the washi.
This is the Washi tape I used:

I feel like for those who are a little more artistically challenged washi tape is your best friend.

Here’s a layout showcasing my horrible drawing abilities. But I actually really loved how it turned out. The cup of coffee features my blog, of course, and the little coffee beans feature the mood of that day. I do have a key at the bottom that I hid because I didn’t feel like it was important for everyone to know how my month was 🙂
I had originally tried a year in pixels but I didn’t love it, and didnt keep up with it. I am finding that I enjoyed the monthly mood tracker way more. And thats the other beautiful thing about BUJO’s you aren’t stuck doing it the same way forever, you can change it as you desire.

Alot of my pages are focused around random images I find, cut outs from old greeting cards and ETC. I honestly don’t remember where I got that little picture from, but It is not my own work. All I did was add the kitty washi and the image and done. This is my example of how you can change your mind on how you want the layout to go. I was doing my weekly pages like this for a bit, then decided I didn’t love it. The washi tape I used for this one: Kitty washi

I decided I wanted my weekly layouts more like this. I loved the concept of the dutch door for meal planning, grocery list and the water tracker


And last but not least, I was going for an ancient Egypt, Cleopatra kind of feel.
If you are looking for more ideas you can always puruse my board on pinterest: Paperdaffodil bullet journal board


washi Tape and Pens,

A.B. After baby




*Contents in this post could have triggers, please proceed in reading this with caution. This post is not meant to upset anyone in anyway, but to express emotions and feelings on my part.  Any stories in this post that bare actual resemblance to a real story are purely coincidental. I am not a medical professional, and nothing I ever post should be taken as medical advice, if you feel in anyway wrong or that you are experiencing symptoms of any ailments such as but not limiting too postpartum depression please seek medical advice immediately. *


After a baby, your whole world changes. And I don’t mean just on the outside, where everyone can see. I don’t mean how your whole world becomes diapers, and wipes and is the diaper bag ready? The baby toys, the pack and play, the swings, the bouncer that overrides your life and your home, that leaves you sitting there wondering if you are ever going to have some semblance of adult normalcy back. I mean, you change as a person. You can’t watch things on the news any more, and if you do, sometimes it’ll leave you crying and going to grab your sleeping baby to hold and kiss…and yes I mean the sleeping baby you just spent an hour trying to get to sleep and now you are waking them just to feel their skin on yours and to smell them, just to know they are still safe and sound in your arms.
When I was pregnant with my first, I remember having these moments, filled with fear. And not for them. For me. I knew that this was going to be a huge change. I just didn’t know how much it was really going to change. I felt like I was closing this chapter in my life that I wasn’t completely ready to close. And so many people would answer with ‘well you have 9 months’ like that was plenty of time to wrap up all the things I didn’t even know I needed to wrap up.
And then the baby is here.
And people no longer see the baby inside of you, and it’s like they automatically think that with the removal of the baby you’ve gone back to who you once were. And you haven’t. Your so far from who you were.
They think you’re back to normal and your really this ball of emotions and sentiment that’s tangled and messy and possibly never going to be neat again.
Then there’s this baby crying and needing you, this tiny human you love with the entirety of your soul. And that emotion alone is new, foreign, and twisting inside next to that clumsy ball of emotions you keep shoving down.
People don’t see all this mess, and they just expect you to be snapped back, to the world they live in.
It’s like the purpose in life is to find, label and sort out the colors, and place them in neat little piles, but after a baby they’ve blended into this huge incomprehensible mess, everyone keeps telling you to get started on getting it all sorted it out, but not only do you not know how, you don’t want too. You cant be bothered too. You don’t feel like your smart enough too.
That’s what postpartum depression has felt like too me.
And I think the truly worst part of it is that tabooness it incites. The looks people give you when you talk about it.
Because omg, postpartum depression automatically means you are going to be like Trudy who locked her kids in the car with her and drove off a bridge. They give you this look like you are wrong and broken and the entire time you are screaming I KNOW inside of your head.
I know.
Ive told myself many times that I am not worthy, I am not good enough, smart enough, strong enough.
I’ve asked myself what was I thinking putting myself on this path in my life when its clear I would never be ready enough.
I don’t need the looks, that you think you’ve cleverly hidden when this topic comes up.
And at the same time I have enough clarity to know I am not wrong. There is nothing bad about me.
It’s the expectations that society has placed on women. That they pop this kid out and go back to who they were and how it was, when in truth some women, like me are just trying to shift through the emotions and place them back to where they belong.
What not enough people tell you, when they instead give you this look like your bad, is that for a little while it’ll feel like your drowning but eventually you catch your breath.
This is a rediscovery of yourself.
Be patient. Take breaks when you need them. It’s ok to take those moments to take deep breaths.
And when the second baby came, I was bracing myself for all of this again. So imagine my surprise when it didn’t come. It’s different every time, for every person and every pregnancy. Which is why we need to be patient and loving to each other.
It’s that simple, and that complex

Iced coffee and baby diapers,
Paper Daffodils